Quotes

My Favorite Quotes

Conversation from work:
Andrew (to Nicci): Why don’t you quit smoking? You did so good, but then you started again.
Nicci: *points at me* Why don’t you tell her to quit smoking?
Andrew: I don’t care about her. She’s already dead.

Customer Questions:
(I’m not making this up)
“How big are your two foots?”
“How big is your 10-inch?”
“Where are your $5  foot-longs” (I do not work at subway)

Roommate who gets regular allergy shots that build up her tolerance:
“I wanna get stabbed, go home, and go to sleep.”

Co-Worker after being asked if they had hung up on a customer:
“No. I just spoke and didn’t let him speak anymore.”
In defense of my co-worker: They explained the issue to the customer 5 different ways, and the customer still didn’t get that he needed to contact his bank, and that we were not stealing money from him.

Answering a stoner’s question:
Customer: “Do you guys still have that thing on sale?”
Associate #1: “I don’t know.” [Turns to Associate #2] “Do we still have that thing on sale?”
Associate #2: “Not sure” [Turns to Associate #3] “Do we still have that thing on sale?”
Associate #3: “I don’t know. Is that thing still on sale?”
Mind you. The store is covered is signs that boldly state “that thing”  is still on sale.

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